Football update

If you’re like me, and thank the good lord Sweet jesus you are not, but even if you are just kind of like me, you are completely overdosed on turkey sandwiches and prescription pain medications, laid out on an uncomfortable couch and barely able to make out the blurs on the big screen which is apparently about a half mile away on a far off wall, with the best college football game in the nation playing this very second. If that is the case and you are slowly fading in and out of consciousness you may be awakened by the supreme play of Alabama super player HaHa Clinton-Dix.
I was just laying there on the couch and every so often the languid vocals of the drunken announcer would say, “that’s Haha Clinton-Dix again,” or something like that and I would all of a sudden wake up, sort of.
It’s not every single day of your life that you hear the words Haha Clinton-Dix all strung together like that.
Then again, if you think about it, a college football player is probably somewhere between the age of eighteen to twenty one. So, if my math is even close to accurate, Mr. Clinton-Dix was born somewhere in the early 90’s. So even I, a person with only decent Google abilities could figure out which famous president was in the Oval office at the time of Haha’s birth.
I’m just going to go out of my way here and thank the parents of this spectacular football player for thinking so far into the future during the early days of the turbulent presidency of one William Jefferson Clinton. How could they have ever known how ironic and fun their superstar sons name would be just a few years later.
“Haha Clinton-Dix slams another Auburn player to the ground.”


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